I train computer programs called neural networks, which look at datasets of human things and try to copy them. They’re used for all sorts of important real-life applications, running Facebook’s facial recognition and Google’s language translation, among many, many other things.
I am running the same sort of algorithm, just sliiightly scaled down in strength and sophistication. Thanks to blog reader Cole Caron, I had a list of 1310 musical genres and their definitions, extracted from Wikipedia.
The neural network has read these definitions, and now knows All About music genres. Please read these definitions, so that this superior artificial intelligence may educate you.
Chamber jazz – fusion of Celtic and hip hop music Hamburg – a style of music that accompanies the bass and a dubstep Acid trance – any music Clam rock – back-to-sow Spock ambient – a capella music Folk – traditional music hippie-based folk music Neue Blues – any music that combined bat lyrics Danza – Middle Ages. Mini-van – orchestral scotlishments Chaspille, t and lung – a combination of notes sound Qagaku – Womanian folk music Dire rock – Korean folk music Kawachi o disco – Swedish folk dance music String blues – umbrella term for aggressive metalcore Electronicore – work music Chunk – dub-inspired form Darkcore – Tuvan throat singing music Eurotrance – fusion of musical known for its lyrical arts Salsa – rumba music Minipal – fusion of Celtic and reggaeto hip hop Chakan – Cozambian folk music Fleen samba – popular music Mini-jazz – French country music Gothic metal – humorous folk music
Want to see what happens when you let the neural network ramble on about music for six more pages? Enter your email address here.
imagine you saw an alien spacecraft and your first reaction was to critique its flat color palette and unimaginative lines
The Truth is Out There and It Has Bad Aesthetics
Because context actually makes the already great headline even greater:
“I know this is horrible,” del Toro continues. “You sound like a complete lunatic, but I saw a UFO. I didn’t want to see a UFO. It was horribly designed. I was with a friend. We bought a six-pack. We didn’t consume it, and there was a place called Cerro del Cuatro, “Mountain of the Four,” on the periphery of Guadalajara. We said, ‘Let’s go to the highway.’ We sit down to watch the stars and have the beer and talk. We were the only guys by the freeway. And we saw a light on the horizon going super-fast, not linear. And I said, ‘Honk and flash the lights.’ And we started honking.”
The UFO, says del Toro, “Went from 1,000 meters away [to much closer] in less than a second — and it was so crappy. It was a flying saucer, so clichéd, with lights [blinking]. It’s so sad: I wish I could reveal they’re not what you think they are. They are what you think they are. And the fear we felt was so primal. I have never been that scared in my life. We jumped in the car, drove really fast. It was following us, and then I looked back and it was gone.”
valerian house archive 