Happy Crimmus!
It’s Crismn!
Merry Crisis!
Merry Chrysler!
You kissed his mouth with mouths of flame: you made the hornèd god your own:
You stood behind him on his throne:
you called him by his secret name.

sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful

NASA: we used to have 9 planets but we now only have 8
Pluto: Stop telling everyone I’m not a planet!
NASA: Sometimes we can still hear its voiceLook, I’m not saying that demoting a planet named after the Roman god of Death stoked his rage and brought down on us his vengeful fury and retribution but…
*gestures at everything*
Finally, an explanation.
So I work at a video game store in a mall and across the hall from us is this really nice suit shop. One day one of the guys came in an asked if they could use our microwave (the store they used to go to closed down) and we bargined for use of their bathroom in return since the mall bathrooms are like a 5 min trek.
So for like three months now we just have these men in really nice suits come in and talk while using our microwave and teach them about nerdy shit? Then I, the goblin king in various shitty tee shirts and paint stained pants, walk into their super expensive store and just get greeted with “Yo dude what’s good?” and talk about the pains of steaming silken dress shirts properly and it’s my favorite business interaction every day
A new jewelry store opened up right next to our store and when I used the bathroom today we were talking about it. I hate it on principle (they flooded our systems closet during building) and immediately both Suit Guys™ working went on mini rants. “Their suits are baggy as hell, I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a $9,000 ring when they can’t get a fitted jacket. They look so unprofessional, ” and “I saw one of the dude’s wearing a teal shirt. It’s fall, and you go with teal? At least get a color to match your store if you’re gonna ignore the seasons like that, Christ, but teal is awful.”
I live for this commentary fam.
#flower shop/tattoo artist au is out #suit shop/nerd store au is in

i wonder if anyone notices that i only wear like three pairs of pants
